For the LOVE ~ DAY 4

Heartbreaking Truth

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said "I've got something to tell you." She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. 

"I want a divorce" I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly "Why?"

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me

"YOU ARE NOT A MAN!"

That night we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage but, I could not give her a satisfactory answer. She had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! 

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could have our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it, then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. 

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. I had obsessed over the idea of divorce for several weeks and it had become firmer and clearer now. 

The next day, I came back home very late and found her sitting at the table writing something. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and went back to sleep. 

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions

She wanted NOTHING from me, but needed a months notice before the divorce.

She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. 

Her reason was simple, our son had his exams in a month and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. Then she had another request. She asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day. Her request was that every morning for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door.

I thought she was going crazy but, to make our last days together bearable, I accepted her odd request. 

My wife and I hadn't had any physical contact since I asked for the divorce so, when I carried her out on the first day it was a bit clumsy. Our son clapped behind us and shouted " Daddy is holding mommy in his arms!" His words brought me a twinge of pain. As we walked towards the door, She said softly " Please don't tell our son about the divorce" I nodded as I put her down outside the door.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the familiar fragrance on her blouse. I realized hadn't really looked at this woman for a very long time. She wasn't young anymore. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was beginning to gray. Our marriage had taken it's toll on her. 

On the fourth day I felt a sense of intimacy returning when I lifted her into my arms. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day I realized that the sense of intimacy was growing. 

It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. One morning as she was getting dressed she sighed "All of my dresses seem to have grown bigger." I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin. That was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Then it hit me...She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Our son walked in and said "It's time to carry mom out dad"         

To him, this little ritual had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son and hugged him tightly. I had to turn away.

I then held her in my arms, her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her tightly...It was just like our wedding day. 

On the last day, when I held her in my arms, I could hardly breath or move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tight and said "I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy."

I drove straight to Jane's...jumped out of the car and ran to Jane's door. Jane opened the door and I looked at her and said " Sorry Jane, I do not want a divorce anymore." She looked at me, shocked. "Sorry, I realize now that my marriage was boring because we didn't value the details of our life, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize I want to hold her until death do us part!"

Jane blinked, gave me a loud slap and slammed the door as she burst into tears.

I walked down the stairs and drove away. I stopped at the floral shop on the way and ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. On the card I wrote 'I'll carry you out every morning til death do us part'

I arrived home, flowers in hand, a smile on my face. I ran up the stairs to find my wife. I came into the bedroom only to find my wife in the bed ...dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was too busy with Jane to even notice. She knew she was going to die soon and wanted to save me from any negative reaction a divorce would have had on our son. She made sure that at least in my sons eyes I was a loving husband...

THE SMALL DETAILS OF YOUR LIVES ARE WHAT REALLY MATTER IN A RELATIONSHIP. 

It's not the mansion or the house, the car, property, the money in the bank. These cannot bring happiness, so find time to be your spouses friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. 

Do you have a truly happy marriage? Most of life's failures are when people don't realize how close they were to success when they gave up...

Realize what you have before it's gone!