Day 8

LOVE DARE ~ DAY 8

 

Love is Not Jealous

Today’s Dare

Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.

Jealousy is one of the strongest drives known to man. It comes from the root word for zeal and means “to burn with an intense fire.” Scripture pointedly says, “Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, but who can stand before jealousy?” (Proverbs 27:4).

There are actually two forms: a legitimate jealousy based upon love, and an illegitimate jealousy based upon envy.

Legitimate jealousy sparks when someone you love turns his or her heart away and replaces you with someone else. The Bible describes God as having this kind of righteous jealousy for His people. It’s not that He is envious of us. It’s that He deeply longs for us, desiring for us to keep Him as our first love. He doesn’t want us to let anything take precedence over Him in our hearts. The Bible warns us not to worship anything but Him because “the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God” (Deuteronomy 4:24).

Illegitimate kind of jealousy that is in opposition to love – the one that is rooted in selfishness. This is to be jealous of someone, to be “moved with envy.”

Do you struggle with being jealous of others? Your friend is more popular, so feel hatred towards her. Your coworker gets the promotion, so you can’t sleep that night. He may have done nothing wrong, but you became bitter because of his success. It has been said that people are fine with our succeeding, just as long as it is not more than theirs.

Jealousy is a common struggle. It is sparked when someone else upstages you and gets something you want. This can be very painful depending upon how selfish you are. Instead of congratulating them, you fume in anger and think ill of them. If you’re not careful, jealousy slithers like a viper into your heart and strikes your motivations and relationships. It can poison you from living the life of love God intended.

You don’t usually get jealous of disconnected strangers. The ones you’re jealous of are primarily in the same arena with you. They work in your office, play in your league, run in your circles … or live in your house. Yes, if you aren’t careful, jealousy can also infect your marriage.

When you were married, you were given the role of becoming your spouse’s biggest cheerleader and the captain of his or her fan club. Both of you become one and were to share in the enjoyment of the other. But if selfishness rules, any good thing happening to only one of you can be a cause for envy rather than congratulations.

Because love is not selfish and puts others first, it refuses to let jealousy in. It leads you to celebrate the successes of your spouse rather than resenting them. A loving husband doesn’t mind his wife being better at something, having more fun, or getting more applause. He sees her as completing him, not competing with him.

It’s time to let your mate’s successes draw you closer together and give you greater opportunities to show genuine love.